Book Review Two Homes, One Childhood

As a couples therapist and divorce mediator, I am always on the look-out for resources to help parents navigate the challenging terrain of co-parenting. Dr. Robert E. Emery's book, "Two Homes, One Childhood: A parenting plan to last a lifetime," will be added to my list of resources for clients that are hoping to do a bit of independent research on this issue.

The book is broken up into two parts. Part one presents the child's hierarchy of needs within the context of the transition to two households. It also provides a discussion about considerations for decisions on placement and custody. During part two, his book is broken up into chapters that focus on several different age groups - infants, toddlers, preschoolers, school age children, adolescence and emerging adults. Dr. Emery encourages the reader to skip around to chapters that are relevant to their children and to return to the book when their child enters a new phase of their life.

What makes this book a valuable resource is its accessibility and emphasis on the fact that every family will have a solution that is unique to them and their needs - there is not a one-size-fits-all guide to co-parenting. Instead of providing readers with the "right" way to co-parent, he uses existing research on what kids need at different developmental stages to frame what should be considered when making a parenting plan.

Throughout the book, Dr. Emery also addresses the emotional challenges that parents often face during divorce and separation. Greif, anger, and sadness are common during this time. He stresses the importance of processing these emotions and ensuring that they do not become your children's burden. Your kids may notice you experiencing these emotions, and that is ok. However, it should never fall on them to provide comfort.

My one criticism of this book is that it can be a bit repetitive. Each of the chapters in part two, highlight approaches to parenting that ideally are carried out at every phase of your child's life. He repeats this with the assumption that the reader would only be engaging with the chapter that pertains to their children. For this reason, I highly recommend this book used as a reference and not a cover-to-cover read.

"Two Homes, One Childhood" by Dr. Robert E. Emery is a must-read for parents looking for guidance through the challenges of co-parenting. It offers a holistic and compassionate approach to co-parenting that champions intentional and authoritative parenting and prioritizes the well-being of the child.