Show Yourself the Kindness you Deserve and Be The Love You Seek

Have you ever heard the saying, "You have to love yourself first?" This is a sound piece of advice. Though, like many one-liners, it will often be met with the response, "That's easier said than done". When you are someone with an overactive inner critic, showing true appreciation and grace for yourself can be a challenge. Dr. Nicole LePera's book, "How to Be the Love You Seek" gives the insight and tools needed to begin practicing self-compassion in a way that feels authentic and applicable to your life.

Dr. LePera, known as The Holistic Psychologist, brings forth a refreshing perspective that blends psychological principles, with spiritual wisdom, personal reflections, and practical exercises. This eclectic mix allowed me to connect with the author and her story and apply the information to my own life. I really appreciated her vulnerability and how she models taking responsibility for our personal growth.

In my professional and personal life, I try to adhere to the saying: "you can't pour from an empty cup." Making sure I am able to take care of myself before stretching myself too thin with the needs of others is something that I am slowly getting better at. One of my favorite parts of this read was Tawwab's emphasis on addressing the needs of the self before the needs of everyone else. Through exercises and prompts she shows the reader how fostering a deeper understanding of themselves, can help establish boundaries that protect them from unnecessary drama and create space for authentic connections.

I was immediately captivated by this read as it aligned with my own philosophy about growth and change in relationships: true love and fulfillment cannot be found in external sources alone but must first be cultivated within oneself. Dr. LePera invites the reader to look inward at their emotions, behavior patterns, and past experiences in order to understand and accept our authentic selves - flaws and all. It is only then that we can begin to take accountability and make change.

Her message was bolstered by a comprehensive overview of psychological principles and interventions like Internal Family Systems, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and Polyvagal Theory. I thought she did a great job creating a mix of psycho-education and personal stories that the reader can connect with. I found her reflections on her own life to be the glue that held everything together. Her story normalizes the ups and downs that are all a part of the work towards self-compassion and the release of past traumas that hinder our ability to love ourselves fully.

"How to Be the Love You Seek" is a great place to start if you are hoping to build self-awareness and compassion. Dr. Nicole LaPera's writing is non-judgemental and warm with the ability to meet any reader where they are at. I am excited to be able to pass this resource along to my friends and clients alike!