The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why it Matters

Priya Parker's The Art of Gathering: How we Meet and Why it Matters is a guide to facilitating meaningful connection for yourself and those around you. I picked up the book with the hope that it would give me guidance as I head into a season where many of my days are spent hosting and attending gatherings. I have long felt that during the holidays we walk a fine line between tradition and obligation - are you going to your parents' home for a holiday dinner because you savor the rich traditions that your family has developed or because its "just what you do during this time of year" and not going would result in conflict. Parker challenges gathering out of obligation and has many considerations I plan to keep in mind this holiday season and onward.

One of the strengths of Parker's work lies in her exploration of the psychology behind gatherings. Through her experiences and observations she provides the reader with direction in how to leverage space, structure, and purpose to be a better host. There were 5 main takeaways from this book that I found to be incredibly helpful.

• Articulate a clear, specific, as unique as possible purpose for the gathering.
• Don't be afraid to exclude people in service of the gathering's highest purpose.
• Use your authority as host - create rules and stick to them.
• Design experiences that encourage people to share personal stories; welcome controversy, vulnerability and topics that are thought provoking.
• Create an intentional ending that links to the purpose and allows people to remember what they've learned and who they've been together.

I found that Parker bolstered these points and engaged me with prompts that challenged me to reevaluate my approach to organizing events and center intentionality and community.

The book's weakness becomes evident in its tendency to meander through anecdotes and examples without providing a coherent structure. The narrative feels disjointed at times, with Parker delving into various case studies and personal experiences without a clear thread to tie them together. Further, many of the anecdotes catered to a demographic consisting of well-connected, well-educated, city-dwellers, from the upper class. This undermines the universality of Parker's message and makes it difficult for folks that fall outside of this demographic to engage in a meaningful way. This is a lost opportunity. People of all backgrounds and cultures have been gathering and creating opportunities for connection since the dawn of time. A more diverse lens on meaningful gatherings could have helped Parker resonate with more of her readers and allow them to apply the principles presented in a way that fits into their lives.

Despite these shortcomings, "The Art of Gathering" succeeds in challenging the conventional mindset surrounding events. I would recommend this to anyone that finds themselves with the desire to build community and foster a sense of togetherness the next time they host. Parker's emphasis on prioritizing genuine connections over the status quo is refreshing, and her call for intentional gathering is an important message in an age of superficial interactions.